Life is a spiral, the conditioned mind is linear. There is nothing wrong with the mind; it is a wonderful tool for us to use, to enjoy, just like a car. Would you let your car drive you?
Life becomes rigid and limited when we try to fit its spiral nature into a linear view. What we believe is real is artificial, created by conditioning. Ecstasy and silence, both aspects of real life, cannot survive in a linear world.
To have a taste of the spiral nature of life, of existence, the layers and layers of conditioning need to peel off; desires, fears, hopes, shoulds, unworthiness, cynicism, shame, competition, rage, doubts,... Even though this may sound overwhelming, the delight of self-discovery cannot be explained with words. Because there is no time outside of the linear mind, self-discovery may or may not take much time. It is a different process for everyone.
One thing that helps a lot is trusting the process. This doesn't mean not to have any doubts; real trust includes doubting, it is vaster than doubt.
Something else that is of great help is to know how to open your heart and keep it open. Spiritual poetry, heart-opening songs, sitting with a tree, walking in nature, are some ways to open the heart. What keeps the heart open is trusting ourselves; not necessarily even trusting our behaviors and thoughts, but trusting who we are.
When a lot of the conditioned responses to life have peeled off, one thing remains: longing. Not a longing for something or someone, simply a deep longing. Painful, yet beautiful at the same time.. .And as we relax into it, our true nature and the spiral nature of life are revealed.
say, My eyes. You say. Look for Him.
I say, My gut. You say. Tear it open.
I say, My heart. You ask, What's inside?
I say, My longing. You say, That's all you need.